alternative title: Or not.
Richard Gomez has expressed his will to run for senator this coming election. While he is being laughed off as a nuisance canditate, I share different sentiments. To convince you otherwise, I have created this very very educational article about Richard Gomez.
Without further ado, here are 10 Little known facts about Richard Gomez that you should consider before deciding to act retarded and actually not vote for him:
10. People who do not vote for Richard Gomez become flying voters. Literally, and they are never to be seen again.
9. Richard Gomez can legislate while sleeping - in a coma.
8. Richard Gomez does not run for election. Election runs from him.
7. Richard Gomez was once invited to talk about drug abuse. There were no survivors.
6. Richard Gomez does not only pass laws. He throws them helluva far.
5. When Richard Gomez becomes speaker, he'll kick so much ass they'll call him Mr. THX Dolby Digital 5.1 instead
4. "Solon" is actually ancient latin for "What Richard Gomez should be like"
3. Richard Gomez will not be running for a seat of power - he already has Bench.
2. If he gets elected, there will no longer be administration or opposition. There will be "Richard Gomez" and "Others who want to be Richard Gomez"
1. If he wins, Lucy Torres will get more airtime, driving the interest of foreigners in our country up, improving our economy, eliminating poverty and increasing the overall demand for Kleenex tissue on the side.
Richard Gomez is the #1 candidate. QED, bitches.
p.s. (No matter what it looks like, I did not get Bench freebies by writing this)